Post by A Leaf in the Wind on Aug 9, 2017 8:07:09 GMT
There are times when I feel utterly depressed in how I am such a useless pos to the world. The positive side of this is that I no longer feel depressed over gender for once which is a breath of fresh air, but since beginning transitioning fifteen weeks ago it only seemed to bring other depressions to the surface.
I never held a job and I am currently 27-years-old. I never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend although I am currently in a long term online relationship with someone in Portland which is close to my homestate of California. I am still a virgin too. I don't have any skills or motivation to learn anything new even though I so want to learn new things. I tried learning Japanese and I only just realized how much I given up on learning that language even though I wanted to so I could indulge in their media without having to rely on subtitles or dubs unless I desire too (since dubs can sometimes have quality voice actors in them).
These were times when I question if I should have been born a slave some point in human history until I realized that I probably wouldn't even be worth much as one. So what is the point of living? I tried to tell myself that nothing really matters in this world since we all die in the end and everything we do is eventurally erased from existence and while this brings some comfort in knowing that fact it the feelings erude away back into a swirling storm (of depression) inside. Sorry, I couldn't keep it in, Heavens known I've tried.
I guess I just have to accept that I am worthless.
I never held a job and I am currently 27-years-old. I never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend although I am currently in a long term online relationship with someone in Portland which is close to my homestate of California. I am still a virgin too. I don't have any skills or motivation to learn anything new even though I so want to learn new things. I tried learning Japanese and I only just realized how much I given up on learning that language even though I wanted to so I could indulge in their media without having to rely on subtitles or dubs unless I desire too (since dubs can sometimes have quality voice actors in them).
These were times when I question if I should have been born a slave some point in human history until I realized that I probably wouldn't even be worth much as one. So what is the point of living? I tried to tell myself that nothing really matters in this world since we all die in the end and everything we do is eventurally erased from existence and while this brings some comfort in knowing that fact it the feelings erude away back into a swirling storm (of depression) inside. Sorry, I couldn't keep it in, Heavens known I've tried.
I guess I just have to accept that I am worthless.